








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2421 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 445 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 69 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 88 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




153 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10388 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,988 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12350 | 39% |
| Smokes | 9262 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4849 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 5527 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,928,686 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 379 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brot@tozz | 71% | 62 |
| #2 | BlackyWhiite | 64% | 77 |
| #3 | Frostyest | 57% | 104 |
| #4 | Oestrochette | 55% | 523 |
| #5 | Max Bellington | 55% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Oestrochette | 55% | 523 |
| #5 | Max Bellington | 55% | 80 |
| #6 | Jahzepam | 53% | 108 |
| #7 | Boyoyote prime | 48% | 269 |
| #8 | Mimi | 44% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oestrochette | 89 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | Jahzepam | 34 | 0.0161 |
| #3 | brot@tozz | 15 | 0.0127 |
| #4 | Boyoyote prime | 14 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | BlackyWhiite | 14 | 0.0095 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oestrochette | 1355 | 0.13 | 29 min |
| #2 | Boyoyote prime | 935 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #3 | Jahzepam | 371 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #4 | Max Bellington | 282 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #5 | Mimi | 261 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Farouk Pinault | +1.85 | 65 | 64 |
| #2 | Max Bellington | +1.22 | 67 | 53 |
| #3 | Frostyest | +0.79 | 66 | 47 |
| #4 | brot@tozz | +0.56 | 62 | 50 |
| #5 | BlackyWhiite | -0.30 | 46 | 65 |





