








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1016 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 202 matches | ||
| Premier | 193 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4829 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,260 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5674 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4026 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4254 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3306 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,158,156 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 396 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | вυвυ ツ | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | M3NsIs | 57% | 82 |
| #3 | [ΛKΛ] Λggrσgαηʐ ツ | 56% | 64 |
| #4 | phlp_# | 51% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | вυвυ ツ | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | M3NsIs | 57% | 82 |
| #3 | [ΛKΛ] Λggrσgαηʐ ツ | 56% | 64 |
| #4 | phlp_# | 51% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M3NsIs | 10 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | [ΛKΛ] Λggrσgαηʐ ツ | 6 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | phlp_# | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | вυвυ ツ | 2 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M3NsIs | 413 | 0.25 | 13 min |
| #2 | [ΛKΛ] Λggrσgαηʐ ツ | 119 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | phlp_# | 83 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | вυвυ ツ | 51 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | вυвυ ツ | +4.95 | 96 | 62 |
| #2 | [ΛKΛ] Λggrσgαηʐ ツ | +4.34 | 92 | 68 |
| #3 | M3NsIs | +1.53 | 75 | 70 |
| #4 | phlp_# | +1.16 | 88 | 61 |
| #5 | CWF- | +1.12 | 72 | 69 |





