








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 222 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 214 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2306 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,045 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4290 | 53% |
| Smokes | 1174 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 2196 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 385 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $533,298 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 207 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [ΛKΛ] Λggrσgαηʐ ツ | 58% | 64 |
| #2 | CWF- | 57% | 82 |
| #3 | вυвυ ツ | 49% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [ΛKΛ] Λggrσgαηʐ ツ | 58% | 64 |
| #2 | CWF- | 57% | 82 |
| #3 | вυвυ ツ | 49% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CWF- | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | [ΛKΛ] Λggrσgαηʐ ツ | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | вυвυ ツ | 3 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CWF- | 351 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #2 | вυвυ ツ | 93 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | [ΛKΛ] Λggrσgαηʐ ツ | 90 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | вυвυ ツ | +4.23 | 94 | 63 |
| #2 | [ΛKΛ] Λggrσgαηʐ ツ | +3.62 | 95 | 66 |
| #3 | CWF- | +0.53 | 70 | 72 |
| #4 | M3NsIs | +0.41 | 76 | 69 |





