








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 678 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1398 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,478 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 229 | 15% |
| Smokes | 548 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 405 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 296 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,337,700 of utility $225 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 138 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BCB | 40% | 20 |
| #2 | Chanklefish | 37% | 19 |
| #3 | Finalfantsy9 | 36% | 70 |
| #4 | Titfingers | 33% | 135 |
| #5 | R-i-L | 31% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BCB | 40% | 20 |
| #2 | Chanklefish | 37% | 19 |
| #3 | Finalfantsy9 | 36% | 70 |
| #4 | Titfingers | 33% | 135 |
| #5 | R-i-L | 31% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Titfingers | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Finalfantsy9 | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | R-i-L | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Chanklefish | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chanklefish | 33 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #2 | Finalfantsy9 | 30 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #3 | Titfingers | 19 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #4 | BCB | 15 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | R-i-L | 13 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BCB | +3.49 | 50 | 58 |
| #2 | Finalfantsy9 | +1.58 | 39 | 23 |
| #3 | Titfingers | -2.34 | 17 | 17 |
| #4 | Herron Bud | -2.61 | 6 | 19 |
| #5 | Chanklefish | -2.86 | 6 | 57 |





