








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 435 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 159 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2811 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,123 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 142 | 7% |
| Smokes | 882 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 603 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 496 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,435,489 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blimey | 54% | 24 |
| #2 | DuffmanOhYE | 40% | 156 |
| #3 | R-i-L | 38% | 95 |
| #4 | Chanklefish | 37% | 196 |
| #5 | Herron Bud | 33% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | R-i-L | 38% | 95 |
| #4 | Chanklefish | 37% | 196 |
| #5 | Herron Bud | 33% | 135 |
| #6 | Finalfantsy9 | 33% | 180 |
| #7 | ⓉⒷⓈCarry Like Mariah | 29% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Finalfantsy9 | 13 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Herron Bud | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | R-i-L | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | DuffmanOhYE | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Chanklefish | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chanklefish | 451 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #2 | DuffmanOhYE | 154 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | Finalfantsy9 | 71 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #4 | blimey | 55 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Herron Bud | 45 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blimey | +6.21 | 50 | 57 |
| #2 | Finalfantsy9 | +1.76 | 40 | 28 |
| #3 | Chanklefish | -1.68 | 8 | 51 |
| #4 | R-i-L | -1.97 | 9 | 36 |
| #5 | Titfingers | -1.99 | 16 | 14 |





