








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 241 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
321 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,568 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 147 | 6% |
| Smokes | 555 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1206 | 47% |
| Molotovs | 660 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $202,743 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aidan Bud | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Titfingers | 38% | 95 |
| #3 | DuffmanOhYE | 38% | 45 |
| #4 | Finalfantsy9 | 34% | 44 |
| #5 | Chanklefish | 33% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | DuffmanOhYE | 38% | 45 |
| #4 | Finalfantsy9 | 34% | 44 |
| #5 | Chanklefish | 33% | 49 |
| #6 | Herron Bud | 31% | 55 |
| #7 | ⓉⒷⓈCarry Like Mariah | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Titfingers | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Herron Bud | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Finalfantsy9 | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Chanklefish | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chanklefish | 32 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #2 | Herron Bud | 20 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #3 | DuffmanOhYE | 15 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | Titfingers | 7 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | Finalfantsy9 | 7 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aidan Bud | +3.49 | 8 | 41 |
| #2 | Finalfantsy9 | +2.65 | 51 | 32 |
| #3 | Chanklefish | -0.63 | 8 | 55 |
| #4 | ⓉⒷⓈCarry Like Mariah | -0.88 | 21 | 22 |
| #5 | Titfingers | -1.68 | 19 | 16 |





