








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 895 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 566 matches | ||
| Faceit | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8365 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,362 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7914 | 26% |
| Smokes | 8538 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6917 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 6993 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,859,462 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marco Pyright | 10 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | Onizuka | 10 | 0.0101 |
| #3 | AMZ | 9 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | kassoulet blesser | 8 | 0.0095 |
| #5 | SKYYYYYYY la loutre | 4 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AMZ | 344 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #2 | kassoulet blesser | 163 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | Onizuka | 136 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | SKYYYYYYY la loutre | 105 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Marco Pyright | 74 | 0.05 | 2 min |





