








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 358 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 328 matches | ||
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2038 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,851 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 157 | 4% |
| Smokes | 2198 | 57% |
| HE Grenades | 560 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 936 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $609,258 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beefcake | 54% | 37 |
| #2 | c0croach | 51% | 55 |
| #3 | Adamoss | 41% | 431 |
| #4 | wez | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beefcake | 54% | 37 |
| #2 | c0croach | 51% | 55 |
| #3 | Adamoss | 41% | 431 |
| #4 | wez | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adamoss | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #2 | c0croach | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Beefcake | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | wez | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adamoss | 436 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #2 | c0croach | 98 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Beefcake | 26 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | wez | 14 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beefcake | +2.44 | 78 | 50 |
| #2 | Adamoss | +1.84 | 53 | 50 |
| #3 | c0croach | -0.37 | 55 | 58 |
| #4 | wez | -0.46 | 45 | 45 |
| #5 | WaskkoCZ | -1.77 | 48 | 24 |





