








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 554 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 243 matches | ||
| Premier | 200 matches | ||
| Wingman | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4477 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,764 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5199 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4110 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 6718 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 1737 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,592,888 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nickkk | 58% | 92 |
| #2 | Adamoss | 53% | 352 |
| #3 | Beefcake | 52% | 371 |
| #4 | WaskkoCZ | 51% | 55 |
| #5 | demoniac | 50% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Adamoss | 53% | 352 |
| #3 | Beefcake | 52% | 371 |
| #4 | WaskkoCZ | 51% | 55 |
| #5 | demoniac | 50% | 64 |
| #6 | wez | 47% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beefcake | 4 | 0.0005 |
| #2 | Adamoss | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | WaskkoCZ | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | wez | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | demoniac | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adamoss | 839 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| #2 | Beefcake | 289 | 0.04 | 8 min |
| #3 | wez | 178 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | demoniac | 150 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Nickkk | 42 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nickkk | +4.53 | 85 | 41 |
| #2 | demoniac | +1.48 | 46 | 63 |
| #3 | Beefcake | +1.14 | 75 | 44 |
| #4 | Adamoss | -0.57 | 49 | 56 |
| #5 | c0croach | -0.73 | 54 | 59 |





