








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 499 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 392 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 68 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4800 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,857 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3601 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3851 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4891 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3514 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,436,767 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 598 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | speedi | 52% | 69 |
| #2 | 日本語 | 52% | 132 |
| #3 | FunchiTa ✓ | 49% | 59 |
| #4 | ✪ 𝓕𝓵𝓪𝓶𝓮 火 | 49% | 35 |
| #5 | siK | 48% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | siK | 48% | 42 |
| #6 | Mark222 | 46% | 35 |
| #7 | ✪ Monkey D Ryuk | 45% | 42 |
| #8 | sendoh | 44% | 41 |
| #9 | MaSo ツ | 34% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FunchiTa ✓ | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | sendoh | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | ✪ 𝓕𝓵𝓪𝓶𝓮 火 | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | speedi | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | siK | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 日本語 | 373 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | speedi | 287 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #3 | FunchiTa ✓ | 170 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Mark222 | 135 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | siK | 131 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 日本語 | +1.59 | 63 | 55 |
| #2 | ✪ 𝓕𝓵𝓪𝓶𝓮 火 | +1.42 | 73 | 72 |
| #3 | sendoh | +1.28 | 58 | 69 |
| #4 | Mark222 | +0.78 | 53 | 69 |
| #5 | FunchiTa ✓ | +0.11 | 62 | 62 |





