








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 56 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
971 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,682 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1447 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1167 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1235 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 833 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $493,439 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GH | 56% | 107 |
| #2 | lauenborg21 | 55% | 53 |
| #3 | ✪ TIETZE ✪ | 52% | 102 |
| #4 | Kagesen | 49% | 96 |
| #5 | Fizz | 46% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GH | 56% | 107 |
| #2 | lauenborg21 | 55% | 53 |
| #3 | ✪ TIETZE ✪ | 52% | 102 |
| #4 | Kagesen | 49% | 96 |
| #5 | Fizz | 46% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GH | 15 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Kagesen | 14 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | ✪ TIETZE ✪ | 11 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | Fizz | 9 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | lauenborg21 | 4 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GH | 162 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | ✪ TIETZE ✪ | 132 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | Kagesen | 114 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | lauenborg21 | 99 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Fizz | 29 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ TIETZE ✪ | +4.27 | 70 | 56 |
| #2 | Kagesen | +3.11 | 70 | 57 |
| #3 | lauenborg21 | +2.23 | 85 | 48 |
| #4 | GH | -1.09 | 48 | 45 |
| #5 | SUMIT99 | -2.51 | 46 | 46 |





