








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 284 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 293 matches | ||
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3991 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,321 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2488 | 15% |
| Smokes | 4042 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4892 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4899 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,052,281 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 481 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GH | 53% | 247 |
| #2 | ✪ TIETZE ✪ | 52% | 387 |
| #3 | lauenborg21 | 50% | 109 |
| #4 | SUMIT99 | 49% | 96 |
| #5 | Fizz | 43% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GH | 53% | 247 |
| #2 | ✪ TIETZE ✪ | 52% | 387 |
| #3 | lauenborg21 | 50% | 109 |
| #4 | SUMIT99 | 49% | 96 |
| #5 | Fizz | 43% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GH | 17 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | SUMIT99 | 17 | 0.0093 |
| #3 | ✪ TIETZE ✪ | 12 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Fizz | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | lauenborg21 | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ TIETZE ✪ | 521 | 0.06 | 14 min |
| #2 | GH | 304 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | SUMIT99 | 193 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | lauenborg21 | 166 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Fizz | 21 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ TIETZE ✪ | +2.14 | 62 | 61 |
| #2 | Kagesen | +0.75 | 68 | 60 |
| #3 | lauenborg21 | +0.72 | 79 | 53 |
| #4 | GH | -1.77 | 47 | 44 |
| #5 | SUMIT99 | -3.01 | 40 | 43 |





