








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 330 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 261 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2649 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,707 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3766 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3447 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4168 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3326 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $337,846 of utility $42 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1027 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Your chance winning this: ‰ | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | GhostW4RR1OR | 51% | 321 |
| #3 | guardian | 50% | 36 |
| #4 | HYPE | 50% | 115 |
| #5 | 0nk3lz | 49% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | guardian | 50% | 36 |
| #4 | HYPE | 50% | 115 |
| #5 | 0nk3lz | 49% | 49 |
| #6 | np for iKe^ | 49% | 143 |
| #7 | {Bro} Hendunger | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GhostW4RR1OR | 12 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | np for iKe^ | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | HYPE | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | {Bro} Hendunger | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Your chance winning this: ‰ | 2 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GhostW4RR1OR | 449 | 0.06 | 12 min |
| #2 | HYPE | 371 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #3 | np for iKe^ | 89 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #4 | 0nk3lz | 82 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Your chance winning this: ‰ | 70 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HYPE | +2.25 | 87 | 65 |
| #2 | GhostW4RR1OR | +1.90 | 70 | 67 |
| #3 | np for iKe^ | +1.14 | 72 | 47 |
| #4 | guardian | +0.15 | 75 | 58 |
| #5 | 0nk3lz | -0.70 | 54 | 77 |





