








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 84 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1004 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,574 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 447 | 17% |
| Smokes | 810 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 405 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 912 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $431,186 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaNNu | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | SumSar | 56% | 27 |
| #3 | ✪ Gnomrider |PAPA| | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | MysticPaw | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | †-Crusader-† | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaNNu | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | SumSar | 56% | 27 |
| #3 | ✪ Gnomrider |PAPA| | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | MysticPaw | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | †-Crusader-† | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | †-Crusader-† | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MysticPaw | 49 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #2 | SumSar | 42 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | jaNNu | 38 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | †-Crusader-† | 30 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | ✪ Gnomrider |PAPA| | 29 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SumSar | +2.48 | 72 | 63 |
| #2 | †-Crusader-† | +1.01 | 39 | 68 |
| #3 | jaNNu | +0.66 | 49 | 72 |
| #4 | ✪ Gnomrider |PAPA| | -0.35 | 86 | 43 |
| #5 | Mag1cz | -0.71 | 71 | 47 |





