








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 134 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Renown | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1099 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,078 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1013 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1116 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 817 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1132 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $662,706 of utility $259 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 163 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Hatch | 53% | 17 |
| #8 | MysticPaw | 48% | 40 |
| #9 | ✪ Gnomrider |PAPA| | 44% | 16 |
| #10 | Mag1cz | 42% | 19 |
| #11 | RikkiC | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MysticPaw | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | SumSar | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Hatch | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | F0zeNN | 1 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Locus | +7.58 | 86 | 67 |
| #2 | SumSar | +3.43 | 75 | 65 |
| #3 | F0zeNN | +2.87 | 82 | 28 |
| #4 | Hatch | +1.21 | 75 | 45 |
| #5 | ✪ Gnomrider |PAPA| | +0.98 | 88 | 38 |





