








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 162 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1480 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,919 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 477 | 10% |
| Smokes | 1733 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1311 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1398 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $244,487 of utility $45 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SaltMinerJohn | 53% | 19 |
| #2 | Anonymous Prime | 52% | 23 |
| #3 | JellyJam #CZ GANG!!! | 48% | 25 |
| #4 | GeT_WeLsH | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | Beckerleg | 45% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | GeT_WeLsH | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | Beckerleg | 45% | 33 |
| #6 | Son So | 44% | 41 |
| #7 | Azz | 43% | 56 |
| #8 | smokey_psyduck | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Azz | 8 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | Beckerleg | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Son So | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Anonymous Prime | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Azz | 100 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | Beckerleg | 85 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Son So | 78 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Anonymous Prime | 37 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | SaltMinerJohn | 37 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beckerleg | +4.08 | 86 | 51 |
| #2 | Azz | +3.78 | 68 | 39 |
| #3 | Anonymous Prime | +3.18 | 78 | 51 |
| #4 | SaltMinerJohn | +0.55 | 34 | 59 |
| #5 | SIMOPS44 | -1.20 | 50 | 38 |





