








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 391 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2832 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,836 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3258 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2030 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1798 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2750 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $646,861 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 606 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | zartyyy | 53% | 68 |
| #9 | Amend | 52% | 161 |
| #10 | ♿Chair | 48% | 133 |
| #11 | zLukaH_ | 47% | 38 |
| #12 | Zenku | 47% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ather87 | 45 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | Amend | 21 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Ozzy | 17 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | ♿Chair | 10 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | zartyyy | 7 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ozzy | 738 | 0.15 | 21 min |
| #2 | Ather87 | 651 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #3 | Amend | 298 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | ♿Chair | 190 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | S 4 T U R N ツ | 131 | 0.11 | 3 min |





