








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 359 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 326 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7758 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,677 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6091 | 27% |
| Smokes | 8580 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 2989 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 5017 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,056,563 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 111 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ♿Chair | 52% | 366 |
| #8 | Ather87 | 51% | 372 |
| #9 | zLukaH_ | 49% | 178 |
| #10 | Amend | 49% | 326 |
| #11 | Zenku | 41% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ather87 | 56 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | ♿Chair | 37 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Amend | 26 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | zartyyy | 22 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | itsWafflev | 17 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ather87 | 874 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #2 | Amend | 497 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #3 | ♿Chair | 469 | 0.06 | 11 min |
| #4 | itsWafflev | 449 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #5 | zartyyy | 344 | 0.06 | 7 min |





