








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 869 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 307 matches | ||
| Wingman | 131 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4379 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,037 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8364 | 31% |
| Smokes | 7310 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5582 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5781 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,030,689 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2406 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ROID QUOKKA | 53% | 45 |
| #2 | BigWolF | 51% | 146 |
| #3 | Stefan | 50% | 44 |
| #4 | TBNRfail | 49% | 45 |
| #5 | kobe ran out of lowgrade | 47% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | TBNRfail | 49% | 45 |
| #5 | kobe ran out of lowgrade | 47% | 36 |
| #6 | Mclovin | 45% | 129 |
| #7 | Surtur | 44% | 34 |
| #8 | 𝓚𝓤𝓡𝓞 | 37% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kobe ran out of lowgrade | 13 | 0.0192 |
| #2 | BigWolF | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Mclovin | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | 𝓚𝓤𝓡𝓞 | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Stefan | 4 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigWolF | 636 | 0.22 | 16 min |
| #2 | Mclovin | 327 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | 𝓚𝓤𝓡𝓞 | 199 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | Stefan | 197 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #5 | Surtur | 140 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kobe ran out of lowgrade | +4.32 | 78 | 59 |
| #2 | Stefan | +3.75 | 72 | 69 |
| #3 | Mclovin | +1.24 | 62 | 54 |
| #4 | TBNRfail | +0.95 | 61 | 54 |
| #5 | Surtur | +0.40 | 44 | 59 |





