








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 413 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 216 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3673 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,223 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2524 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1760 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2194 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2745 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,432,589 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 144 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Mclovin | 49% | 37 |
| #8 | BigWolF | 48% | 208 |
| #9 | BeeFcAkE | 46% | 26 |
| #10 | ROID QUOKKA | 43% | 111 |
| #11 | NLG | V E N O M | 33% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigWolF | 901 | 0.21 | 22 min |
| #2 | NLG | capone | 171 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | Stefan | 153 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | ROID QUOKKA | 150 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Mclovin | 100 | 0.13 | 2 min |





