










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1493 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 574 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




250 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8768 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,352 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3437 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5263 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4369 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4283 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,899,732 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7987 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joe roagan | 46% | 254 |
| #2 | [F-GO] Soulless | 44% | 227 |
| #3 | noahsvigor | 41% | 104 |
| #4 | Jenko | 41% | 158 |
| #5 | Poop Man | 37% | 176 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joe roagan | 46% | 254 |
| #2 | [F-GO] Soulless | 44% | 227 |
| #3 | noahsvigor | 41% | 104 |
| #4 | Jenko | 41% | 158 |
| #5 | Poop Man | 37% | 176 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [F-GO] Soulless | 79 | 0.0173 |
| #2 | joe roagan | 58 | 0.0107 |
| #3 | noahsvigor | 38 | 0.0181 |
| #4 | Poop Man | 19 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Jenko | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poop Man | 647 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #2 | [F-GO] Soulless | 561 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | joe roagan | 362 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | noahsvigor | 283 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | Jenko | 27 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [F-GO] Soulless | +1.39 | 73 | 42 |
| #2 | Eltron Drone | +1.11 | 84 | 41 |
| #3 | noahsvigor | +0.66 | 80 | 42 |
| #4 | joe roagan | +0.06 | 75 | 43 |
| #5 | Poop Man | -0.71 | 72 | 46 |





