








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 744 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 368 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5835 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,248 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6277 | 61% |
| Smokes | 223 | 2% |
| HE Grenades | 1950 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1798 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,239,354 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 336 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jenko | 43% | 270 |
| #2 | joe roagan | 40% | 75 |
| #3 | Eltron Drone | 37% | 176 |
| #4 | [F-GO] Soulless | 34% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jenko | 43% | 270 |
| #2 | joe roagan | 40% | 75 |
| #3 | Eltron Drone | 37% | 176 |
| #4 | [F-GO] Soulless | 34% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eltron Drone | 52 | 0.0146 |
| #2 | joe roagan | 19 | 0.0119 |
| #3 | [F-GO] Soulless | 10 | 0.0119 |
| #4 | Jenko | 7 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eltron Drone | 226 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #2 | [F-GO] Soulless | 133 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | joe roagan | 98 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jenko | 47 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [F-GO] Soulless | +1.98 | 72 | 34 |
| #2 | Eltron Drone | +0.38 | 83 | 37 |
| #3 | Poop Man | -0.17 | 72 | 47 |
| #4 | joe roagan | -0.18 | 75 | 50 |
| #5 | Jenko | -1.23 | 62 | 22 |





