








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 873 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 429 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




145 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6847 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,061 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3910 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2519 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3072 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2560 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,163,186 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4246 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frozen | 57% | 37 |
| #2 | joe roagan | 51% | 213 |
| #3 | noahsvigor | 46% | 35 |
| #4 | Eltron Drone | 44% | 227 |
| #5 | Jenko | 40% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | joe roagan | 51% | 213 |
| #3 | noahsvigor | 46% | 35 |
| #4 | Eltron Drone | 44% | 227 |
| #5 | Jenko | 40% | 42 |
| #6 | Poop Man | 34% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eltron Drone | 89 | 0.0193 |
| #2 | joe roagan | 47 | 0.0103 |
| #3 | noahsvigor | 12 | 0.0181 |
| #4 | frozen | 7 | 0.0091 |
| #5 | Poop Man | 6 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joe roagan | 287 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #2 | Eltron Drone | 258 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | Poop Man | 132 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | noahsvigor | 90 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | frozen | 31 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [F-GO] Soulless | +1.94 | 74 | 44 |
| #2 | Eltron Drone | +0.63 | 83 | 38 |
| #3 | noahsvigor | +0.44 | 89 | 37 |
| #4 | joe roagan | +0.17 | 76 | 41 |
| #5 | Poop Man | -0.40 | 63 | 45 |





