










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
239 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 875 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 211 | 24% |
| Smokes | 114 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 280 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 270 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $159,888 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 150 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | un gros rageux | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | Miller | 50% | 28 |
| #3 | _ProHater_ | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | Kain | 43% | 23 |
| #5 | Jhames | 14% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | un gros rageux | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | Miller | 50% | 28 |
| #3 | _ProHater_ | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | Kain | 43% | 23 |
| #5 | Jhames | 14% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miller | 3 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | _ProHater_ | 3 | 0.0109 |
| #3 | Kain | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Jhames | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kain | 91 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | _ProHater_ | 45 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | Jhames | 32 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Miller | 11 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | un gros rageux | 1 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _ProHater_ | +2.38 | 85 | 62 |
| #2 | Kain | +1.80 | 62 | 70 |
| #3 | Miller | +0.75 | 46 | 45 |
| #4 | un gros rageux | -0.62 | 57 | 34 |
| #5 | Ronnie Pickering | -2.87 | 25 | 42 |





