








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 202 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 94 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1729 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,206 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1289 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1073 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1389 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1455 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $668,994 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b0b0 | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | mmmmm | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | Mr Haukka | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | BLUEFAce"¤ | 50% | 58 |
| #5 | Sammee | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BLUEFAce"¤ | 261 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | mmmmm | 83 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #3 | b0b0 | 79 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #4 | pasi | 57 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #5 | Mr Haukka | 56 | 0.15 | 1 min |





