








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 191 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1915 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,296 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2003 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1717 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1183 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1393 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $267,014 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | キリンドクター | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | N44M4 | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | fänski | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | BLUEFAce"¤ | 56% | 45 |
| #5 | JUS6 | 55% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | JUS6 | 55% | 11 |
| #6 | Tane | 52% | 65 |
| #7 | MAULER-.- | 50% | 26 |
| #8 | jehu | 48% | 27 |
| #9 | Latew0w | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fänski | 5 | 0.0168 |
| #2 | MAULER-.- | 3 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | Tane | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | BLUEFAce"¤ | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | jehu | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tane | 198 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | BLUEFAce"¤ | 169 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | MAULER-.- | 74 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | jehu | 42 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | fänski | 33 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Latew0w | +3.66 | 87 | 67 |
| #2 | b0b0 | +2.16 | 85 | 74 |
| #3 | JUS6 | +0.95 | 76 | 74 |
| #4 | Tane | +0.36 | 84 | 60 |
| #5 | MAULER-.- | +0.07 | 59 | 77 |





