








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2878 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 597 matches | ||
| Faceit | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 73 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7923 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,535 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5369 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4124 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3569 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4473 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,488,467 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4875 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaSh | 64% | 45 |
| #2 | P҉A҉ | 64% | 47 |
| #3 | quicky | 57% | 42 |
| #4 | TechnoWaffle | 55% | 116 |
| #5 | jerry | 54% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sluggish | 29 | 0.0111 |
| #2 | Champ | 23 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | quicky | 6 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | P҉A҉ | 6 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | jerry | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaSh | +2.16 | 92 | 64 |
| #2 | Ackerman | +2.11 | 91 | 52 |
| #3 | P҉A҉ | +1.76 | 70 | 63 |
| #4 | jerry | +0.23 | 79 | 66 |
| #5 | quicky | +0.04 | 73 | 61 |





