








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 61 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 134 matches | ||
| Renown | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2031 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,872 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1620 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1629 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1053 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1570 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $389,448 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GeNaNah | 80% | 15 |
| #2 | atom | 75% | 12 |
| #3 | urban | 71% | 52 |
| #4 | Signaturk4 | 61% | 82 |
| #5 | Den1x | 60% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Den1x | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Signaturk4 | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | D1ntrIx | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Ispanets | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | atom | 1 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Den1x | 975 | 0.39 | 29 min |
| #2 | Signaturk4 | 373 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #3 | vasyo4ek44 | 132 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Ispanets | 105 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | D1ntrIx | 58 | 0.05 | 1 min |





