










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 548 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




117 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6362 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,397 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1045 | 14% |
| Smokes | 111 | 2% |
| HE Grenades | 4127 | 56% |
| Molotovs | 2114 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,143,688 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4219 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | switchwrlds | 51% | 51 |
| #2 | Best Shiba | 46% | 48 |
| #3 | Couscous Falafel | 40% | 77 |
| #4 | Will | 32% | 119 |
| #5 | ZXC YUSUF AMIR FAN | 29% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | switchwrlds | 51% | 51 |
| #2 | Best Shiba | 46% | 48 |
| #3 | Couscous Falafel | 40% | 77 |
| #4 | Will | 32% | 119 |
| #5 | ZXC YUSUF AMIR FAN | 29% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Will | 17 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | ZXC YUSUF AMIR FAN | 17 | 0.0110 |
| #3 | Best Shiba | 5 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | switchwrlds | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZXC YUSUF AMIR FAN | 321 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #2 | Couscous Falafel | 262 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | Will | 169 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | switchwrlds | 135 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Best Shiba | 71 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Will | +4.53 | 80 | 33 |
| #2 | Best Shiba | +1.94 | 40 | 15 |
| #3 | switchwrlds | +1.76 | 57 | 39 |
| #4 | ZXC YUSUF AMIR FAN | -0.33 | 42 | 44 |
| #5 | Couscous Falafel | -1.02 | 29 | 49 |





