








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1857 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 684 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 117 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6391 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,197 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5271 | 40% |
| Smokes | 2950 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2776 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2200 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,806,148 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4487 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | switchcolourss | 47% | 53 |
| #2 | sweet.ditto | 47% | 62 |
| #3 | M!lk | 44% | 54 |
| #4 | Paulie Walnuts | 43% | 182 |
| #5 | gw℮b | 43% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | M!lk | 44% | 54 |
| #4 | Paulie Walnuts | 43% | 182 |
| #5 | gw℮b | 43% | 111 |
| #6 | scemo | 43% | 191 |
| #7 | awesomekoi | 39% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scemo | 22 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Paulie Walnuts | 11 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | gw℮b | 10 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | sweet.ditto | 7 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | switchcolourss | 4 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scemo | 379 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #2 | sweet.ditto | 142 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | switchcolourss | 127 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | gw℮b | 114 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | awesomekoi | 107 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scemo | +2.85 | 66 | 58 |
| #2 | M!lk | +2.01 | 82 | 42 |
| #3 | switchcolourss | -0.72 | 35 | 29 |
| #4 | switchwrlds | -0.77 | 56 | 36 |
| #5 | awesomekoi | -0.98 | 34 | 30 |





