








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 42 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 83 matches | ||
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2084 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,472 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2050 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2906 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2413 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1103 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $170,486 of utility $33 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 777Kursd | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | Z3pel1n | 48% | 60 |
| #3 | Rob Boss | 48% | 42 |
| #4 | cusonsofat | 46% | 76 |
| #5 | Prinz Eugen | 38% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Z3pel1n | 48% | 60 |
| #3 | Rob Boss | 48% | 42 |
| #4 | cusonsofat | 46% | 76 |
| #5 | Prinz Eugen | 38% | 45 |
| #6 | Astroscale | 35% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cusonsofat | 12 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | Astroscale | 8 | 0.0134 |
| #3 | Prinz Eugen | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Rob Boss | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Z3pel1n | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Z3pel1n | 141 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | cusonsofat | 140 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Astroscale | 135 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #4 | Prinz Eugen | 66 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | 777Kursd | 13 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rob Boss | +2.27 | 31 | 24 |
| #2 | Astroscale | +2.23 | 63 | 58 |
| #3 | cusonsofat | +1.71 | 56 | 38 |
| #4 | kgeo | +0.09 | 31 | 47 |
| #5 | 777Kursd | +0.00 | 43 | 32 |





