








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 242 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
774 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,571 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 431 | 27% |
| Smokes | 333 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 348 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 459 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $843,404 of utility $319 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 161 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gobbledygook | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | crown | 68% | 38 |
| #3 | Dhaibhsan | 62% | 29 |
| #4 | Chimzabzwe | 61% | 18 |
| #5 | Chimzabzwe ■ ∕ | 58% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | 𝒜𝓏𝓊 | 52% | 33 |
| #9 | Shrimp | 51% | 41 |
| #10 | OpTiC Gandhi | 50% | 12 |
| #11 | GOO$E | 50% | 28 |
| #12 | Jake | 50% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jake | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Shrimp | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | 𝒜𝓏𝓊 | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | GOO$E | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Chimzabzwe | 2 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crown | 163 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #2 | Shrimp | 102 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | 𝒜𝓏𝓊 | 73 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Dhaibhsan | 72 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Jake | 64 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jake | +4.32 | 71 | 49 |
| #2 | Chimzabzwe | +3.09 | 51 | 60 |
| #3 | GOO$E | +3.01 | 81 | 51 |
| #4 | OpTiC Gandhi | +2.47 | 44 | 59 |
| #5 | gobbledygook | +2.36 | 73 | 59 |





