








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 510 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 510 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3571 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,269 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1321 | 7% |
| Smokes | 4962 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4959 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 7027 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,066,328 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 351 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | akumasekai | 50% | 38 |
| #2 | AngelofDev | 49% | 79 |
| #3 | nAked | 47% | 79 |
| #4 | Twitchwannanerd | 41% | 61 |
| #5 | Paradox | 39% | 147 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | AngelofDev | 49% | 79 |
| #3 | nAked | 47% | 79 |
| #4 | Twitchwannanerd | 41% | 61 |
| #5 | Paradox | 39% | 147 |
| #6 | nVrmnd | 39% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nVrmnd | 11 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | nAked | 8 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Twitchwannanerd | 8 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | AngelofDev | 7 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Paradox | 6 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nVrmnd | 325 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | nAked | 244 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | Twitchwannanerd | 224 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | Paradox | 189 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | akumasekai | 95 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | akumasekai | +2.42 | 54 | 59 |
| #2 | nAked | +2.29 | 47 | 59 |
| #3 | nVrmnd | +1.24 | 50 | 58 |
| #4 | kkfleming | +0.27 | 22 | 41 |
| #5 | Twitchwannanerd | -0.43 | 10 | 44 |





