








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 790 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 291 matches | ||
| Premier | 164 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4112 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,608 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5002 | 43% |
| Smokes | 1097 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 3258 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2251 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $830,655 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 397 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Patrick Star | 54% | 229 |
| #2 | Veetixx | 52% | 88 |
| #3 | PIG HACKER | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | Lewis Donk | 50% | 48 |
| #5 | HUBERT | 49% | 236 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | PIG HACKER | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | Lewis Donk | 50% | 48 |
| #5 | HUBERT | 49% | 236 |
| #6 | Nakkivene87 | 48% | 87 |
| #7 | agentti | 35% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Veetixx | 12 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | Patrick Star | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | HUBERT | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | agentti | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Lewis Donk | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HUBERT | 284 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #2 | Patrick Star | 239 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | Nakkivene87 | 209 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | Veetixx | 185 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Lewis Donk | 90 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Patrick Star | +2.76 | 58 | 50 |
| #2 | Salttfish | +1.50 | 59 | 48 |
| #3 | Nakkivene87 | -0.25 | 42 | 42 |
| #4 | HUBERT | -0.75 | 51 | 56 |
| #5 | agentti | -0.95 | 50 | 41 |





