








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 559 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 403 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 115 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4437 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,100 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4653 | 21% |
| Smokes | 6637 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5655 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5155 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,202,092 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1772 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mannyw0w | 11 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | J0S1C0! | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Zekken | 6 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | ♛ N E O Z Z ♛ | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Drako t('-'t)⛧ | 4 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mannyw0w | 739 | 0.21 | 18 min |
| #2 | J0S1C0! | 309 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | RoyKLK | 240 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | ♛ N E O Z Z ♛ | 233 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | Drako t('-'t)⛧ | 222 | 0.18 | 5 min |





