








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1024 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 527 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




263 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6155 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,481 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2117 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1253 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1145 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 966 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $778,795 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 769 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | やりまん | 53% | 126 |
| #2 | Meomo | 50% | 303 |
| #3 | Caidan | 45% | 85 |
| #4 | mAHhOYmAyOIM | 44% | 98 |
| #5 | Auzzie | 31% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | やりまん | 53% | 126 |
| #2 | Meomo | 50% | 303 |
| #3 | Caidan | 45% | 85 |
| #4 | mAHhOYmAyOIM | 44% | 98 |
| #5 | Auzzie | 31% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Caidan | 49 | 0.0289 |
| #2 | Meomo | 35 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | mAHhOYmAyOIM | 30 | 0.0151 |
| #4 | Auzzie | 7 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | やりまん | 6 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meomo | 596 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #2 | mAHhOYmAyOIM | 243 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | やりまん | 131 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Auzzie | 82 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Caidan | 39 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ガニチ | +2.28 | 77 | 30 |
| #2 | mAHhOYmAyOIM | +0.17 | 75 | 48 |
| #3 | やりまん | -0.34 | 60 | 39 |
| #4 | Auzzie | -0.91 | 52 | 45 |
| #5 | Caidan | -1.60 | 37 | 15 |





