








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 270 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 286 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2586 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,713 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 518 | 30% |
| Smokes | 448 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 379 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 368 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $79,580 of utility $11 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 465 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meomo | 48% | 77 |
| #2 | ガニチ | 45% | 85 |
| #3 | 𐂃𐂃 | 36% | 28 |
| #4 | やりまん | 34% | 47 |
| #5 | Auzzie | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meomo | 48% | 77 |
| #2 | ガニチ | 45% | 85 |
| #3 | 𐂃𐂃 | 36% | 28 |
| #4 | やりまん | 34% | 47 |
| #5 | Auzzie | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ガニチ | 67 | 0.0397 |
| #2 | 𐂃𐂃 | 19 | 0.0325 |
| #3 | Meomo | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | やりまん | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Auzzie | 3 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meomo | 146 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | ガニチ | 131 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | 𐂃𐂃 | 51 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | やりまん | 48 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Auzzie | 29 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ガニチ | +3.17 | 78 | 31 |
| #2 | 𐂃𐂃 | +2.88 | 85 | 27 |
| #3 | Auzzie | +1.55 | 52 | 45 |
| #4 | やりまん | -0.30 | 58 | 30 |
| #5 | Caidan | -0.76 | 41 | 17 |





