








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 135 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 327 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3363 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,391 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2928 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2492 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2469 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1502 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $655,144 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 526 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | microplastic estrogen burger | 51% | 41 |
| #2 | やりまん | 48% | 63 |
| #3 | Meomo | 46% | 185 |
| #4 | mAHhOYmAyOIM | 46% | 195 |
| #5 | Okan AK | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Meomo | 46% | 185 |
| #4 | mAHhOYmAyOIM | 46% | 195 |
| #5 | Okan AK | 35% | 26 |
| #6 | Caidan | 32% | 22 |
| #7 | ガニチ | 31% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mAHhOYmAyOIM | 50 | 0.0126 |
| #2 | ガニチ | 30 | 0.0323 |
| #3 | Meomo | 11 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Caidan | 8 | 0.0181 |
| #5 | やりまん | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meomo | 560 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | mAHhOYmAyOIM | 494 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | やりまん | 75 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | ガニチ | 60 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | microplastic estrogen burger | 41 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | microplastic estrogen burger | +7.76 | 91 | 33 |
| #2 | ガニチ | +0.98 | 73 | 20 |
| #3 | mAHhOYmAyOIM | +0.77 | 72 | 51 |
| #4 | Auzzie | +0.43 | 48 | 50 |
| #5 | やりまん | +0.13 | 54 | 39 |





