








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1884 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 226 matches | ||
| Wingman | 158 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 33 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 147 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13761 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,910 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6637 | 29% |
| Smokes | 7700 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 4086 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 4487 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,190,876 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1153 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Wan Itch | 56% | 102 |
| #7 | Bread | 54% | 238 |
| #8 | RGames | 52% | 125 |
| #9 | Luukookie | 51% | 260 |
| #10 | Twenny One iwnl | 47% | 225 |





