








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 627 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 334 matches | ||
| Faceit | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




88 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8043 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,178 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3480 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3245 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4973 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 3480 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,603,266 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 529 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ˢᵉᵃⁿᵍᵒ^ -iwnl- | 66% | 38 |
| #2 | Swamp Puppy | 61% | 85 |
| #3 | SlightlyElite | 60% | 73 |
| #4 | Tulqy | 59% | 342 |
| #5 | Rarely | 52% | 316 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ˢᵉᵃⁿᵍᵒ^ -iwnl- | 66% | 38 |
| #2 | Swamp Puppy | 61% | 85 |
| #3 | SlightlyElite | 60% | 73 |
| #4 | Tulqy | 59% | 342 |
| #5 | Rarely | 52% | 316 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tulqy | 60 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | Rarely | 15 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | SlightlyElite | 8 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | ˢᵉᵃⁿᵍᵒ^ -iwnl- | 8 | 0.0101 |
| #5 | Swamp Puppy | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tulqy | 1487 | 0.21 | 39 min |
| #2 | Rarely | 1119 | 0.17 | 29 min |
| #3 | Swamp Puppy | 197 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | SlightlyElite | 79 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | ˢᵉᵃⁿᵍᵒ^ -iwnl- | 74 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Максим | +2.13 | 80 | 51 |
| #2 | Swamp Puppy | +1.11 | 77 | 52 |
| #3 | Rarely | -0.45 | 72 | 66 |
| #4 | Tulqy | -0.61 | 68 | 58 |
| #5 | ˢᵉᵃⁿᵍᵒ^ -iwnl- | -0.96 | 73 | 56 |





