








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 598 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 310 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




77 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4871 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,383 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6102 | 46% |
| Smokes | 2779 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2804 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1698 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,764,026 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3106 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SlightlyElite | 76% | 25 |
| #2 | Swamp Puppy | 72% | 39 |
| #3 | Максим | 59% | 342 |
| #4 | Rarely | 51% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SlightlyElite | 76% | 25 |
| #2 | Swamp Puppy | 72% | 39 |
| #3 | Максим | 59% | 342 |
| #4 | Rarely | 51% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Максим | 60 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | Rarely | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Swamp Puppy | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | SlightlyElite | 2 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Максим | 696 | 0.10 | 18 min |
| #2 | Rarely | 385 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #3 | Swamp Puppy | 99 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | SlightlyElite | 41 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swamp Puppy | +2.37 | 79 | 60 |
| #2 | Максим | +2.04 | 77 | 52 |
| #3 | SlightlyElite | +0.06 | 84 | 54 |
| #4 | Rarely | -0.22 | 68 | 69 |
| #5 | Tulqy | -0.54 | 70 | 59 |





