








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
662 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,573 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 374 | 24% |
| Smokes | 488 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 331 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 380 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $211,449 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tulqy | 91% | 11 |
| #2 | SlightlyElite | 86% | 7 |
| #3 | Swamp Puppy | 71% | 14 |
| #4 | Максим | 66% | 38 |
| #5 | Rarely | 55% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tulqy | 91% | 11 |
| #2 | SlightlyElite | 86% | 7 |
| #3 | Swamp Puppy | 71% | 14 |
| #4 | Максим | 66% | 38 |
| #5 | Rarely | 55% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Максим | 12 | 0.0148 |
| #2 | Rarely | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Tulqy | 1 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | SlightlyElite | 1 | 0.0079 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rarely | 100 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | Максим | 94 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | Tulqy | 48 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #4 | Swamp Puppy | 21 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | SlightlyElite | 11 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Максим | +3.40 | 79 | 52 |
| #2 | Swamp Puppy | +2.13 | 81 | 50 |
| #3 | SlightlyElite | +2.11 | 89 | 58 |
| #4 | Tulqy | +1.91 | 56 | 63 |
| #5 | Rarely | -0.11 | 72 | 66 |





