










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
413 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 682 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 184 | 27% |
| Smokes | 136 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 141 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 221 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $155,628 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 131 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | paulie | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | Blenderino | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | 2010 Honda Civic Si | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | HomeInvaderSimpson | 63% | 16 |
| #5 | Yeetus Hoonkus | 60% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Blenderino | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | 2010 Honda Civic Si | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | HomeInvaderSimpson | 63% | 16 |
| #5 | Yeetus Hoonkus | 60% | 43 |
| #6 | Lightsage | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yeetus Hoonkus | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Lightsage | 1 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yeetus Hoonkus | 79 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | Blenderino | 14 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #3 | HomeInvaderSimpson | 8 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | Lightsage | 8 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | 2010 Honda Civic Si | 7 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yeetus Hoonkus | +8.38 | 88 | 65 |
| #2 | Blenderino | -0.51 | 50 | 42 |
| #3 | yoris | -0.85 | 47 | 37 |
| #4 | 2010 Honda Civic Si | -1.08 | 72 | 47 |
| #5 | paulie | -2.28 | 42 | 30 |





