










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
393 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 776 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 167 | 22% |
| Smokes | 122 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 179 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 308 | 40% |
Our logs show you have wasted $197,300 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 181 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yoris | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | HomeInvaderSimpson | 65% | 23 |
| #3 | Yeetus Hoonkus | 62% | 45 |
| #4 | paulie | 60% | 25 |
| #5 | 2010 Honda Civic Si | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yeetus Hoonkus | 11 | 0.0124 |
| #2 | paulie | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | HomeInvaderSimpson | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Lightsage | 1 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | yoris | 1 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yoris | +10.20 | 84 | 64 |
| #2 | Temmpp | +9.64 | 87 | 45 |
| #3 | Yeetus Hoonkus | +8.34 | 86 | 60 |
| #4 | Lightsage | +1.29 | 46 | 29 |
| #5 | Blenderino | -2.14 | 50 | 25 |





