










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
289 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 922 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 224 | 24% |
| Smokes | 376 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 149 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 173 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $289,488 of utility $330 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juhisser | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | ObeseGorilla87 | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | José | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | Wallace | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | Ricardo López | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haldet | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | ObeseGorilla87 | 2 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | JDank | 2 | 0.0104 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | koiranpaska | 87 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #2 | Haldet | 41 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | JDank | 28 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Ricardo López | 22 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #5 | Khleos | 12 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wallace | +4.87 | 62 | 46 |
| #2 | José | +3.14 | 65 | 52 |
| #3 | Haldet | +2.28 | 51 | 37 |
| #4 | Str1peS | +2.05 | 52 | 60 |
| #5 | Juhisser | +1.60 | 43 | 28 |





