








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 203 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
301 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 835 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 378 | 45% |
| Smokes | 243 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 27 | 3% |
| Molotovs | 187 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $222,727 of utility $241 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wallace | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | ObeseGorilla87 | 73% | 15 |
| #3 | José | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | JDank | 50% | 16 |
| #5 | Str1peS | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ObeseGorilla87 | 73% | 15 |
| #3 | José | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | JDank | 50% | 16 |
| #5 | Str1peS | 48% | 23 |
| #6 | Haldet | 47% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Str1peS | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Haldet | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | ObeseGorilla87 | 1 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | JDank | 1 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haldet | 51 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #2 | JDank | 38 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | Str1peS | 27 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | José | 6 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | ObeseGorilla87 | 5 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wallace | +11.49 | 75 | 68 |
| #2 | Haldet | +3.53 | 46 | 45 |
| #3 | José | +3.14 | 65 | 52 |
| #4 | Str1peS | +1.71 | 59 | 61 |
| #5 | koiranpaska | +0.06 | 58 | 53 |





