










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
92 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 292 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11 | 4% |
| Smokes | 96 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 113 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 72 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $123,776 of utility $307 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wallace | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | koiranpaska | 73% | 15 |
| #3 | José | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | Str1peS | 65% | 20 |
| #5 | Haldet | 62% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | José | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | Str1peS | 65% | 20 |
| #5 | Haldet | 62% | 13 |
| #6 | JDank | 40% | 5 |
| #7 | Khleos | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Str1peS | 2 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | JDank | 1 | 0.0094 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | koiranpaska | 51 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #2 | Haldet | 30 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | Str1peS | 23 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | JDank | 14 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Khleos | 8 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wallace | +11.49 | 75 | 68 |
| #2 | Str1peS | +4.07 | 58 | 64 |
| #3 | José | +3.84 | 65 | 52 |
| #4 | Haldet | +3.57 | 51 | 48 |
| #5 | Khleos | +2.12 | 35 | 40 |





