








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 216 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 47 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2237 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,866 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1609 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1576 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1503 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1178 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $937,600 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gnoomi | 57% | 37 |
| #2 | Mr. Tokmanni | 51% | 116 |
| #3 | Table sorcerer | 46% | 303 |
| #4 | Ikea Kaappi | 43% | 95 |
| #5 | Kortsu | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gnoomi | 57% | 37 |
| #2 | Mr. Tokmanni | 51% | 116 |
| #3 | Table sorcerer | 46% | 303 |
| #4 | Ikea Kaappi | 43% | 95 |
| #5 | Kortsu | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Table sorcerer | 101 | 0.0187 |
| #2 | Mr. Tokmanni | 30 | 0.0146 |
| #3 | Ikea Kaappi | 19 | 0.0109 |
| #4 | gnoomi | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Kortsu | 3 | 0.0091 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Table sorcerer | 1301 | 0.24 | 22 min |
| #2 | Mr. Tokmanni | 373 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | gnoomi | 97 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Ikea Kaappi | 94 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Kortsu | 24 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Tokmanni | +3.31 | 73 | 47 |
| #2 | Table sorcerer | +2.55 | 68 | 56 |
| #3 | Ikea Kaappi | +1.56 | 64 | 43 |
| #4 | Sauli Hyvämies | -0.85 | 29 | 41 |
| #5 | gnoomi | -3.77 | 34 | 25 |





