








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 929 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 85 matches | ||
| Wingman | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3210 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,662 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1193 | 26% |
| Smokes | 974 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1348 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1147 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,105,181 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1375 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Tokmanni | 55% | 75 |
| #2 | Kortsu | 51% | 51 |
| #3 | Table sorcerer | 45% | 200 |
| #4 | Sauli Hyvämies | 43% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Tokmanni | 55% | 75 |
| #2 | Kortsu | 51% | 51 |
| #3 | Table sorcerer | 45% | 200 |
| #4 | Sauli Hyvämies | 43% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Table sorcerer | 98 | 0.0277 |
| #2 | Mr. Tokmanni | 21 | 0.0145 |
| #3 | Sauli Hyvämies | 10 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Kortsu | 6 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Table sorcerer | 803 | 0.23 | 14 min |
| #2 | Mr. Tokmanni | 233 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | Sauli Hyvämies | 160 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Kortsu | 115 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Table sorcerer | +1.78 | 68 | 50 |
| #2 | Mr. Tokmanni | +1.36 | 68 | 40 |
| #3 | Ikea Kaappi | +0.48 | 56 | 44 |
| #4 | Sauli Hyvämies | -1.18 | 24 | 38 |
| #5 | Kortsu | -3.16 | 34 | 36 |





