








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 693 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 83 matches | ||
| Wingman | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




164 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4931 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,610 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5652 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4693 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3622 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2643 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $377,145 of utility $44 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 874 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gnoomi | 57% | 44 |
| #2 | Mr. Tokmanni | 53% | 143 |
| #3 | Sauli Hyvämies | 46% | 303 |
| #4 | Ikea Kaappi | 45% | 200 |
| #5 | Kortsu | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gnoomi | 57% | 44 |
| #2 | Mr. Tokmanni | 53% | 143 |
| #3 | Sauli Hyvämies | 46% | 303 |
| #4 | Ikea Kaappi | 45% | 200 |
| #5 | Kortsu | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ikea Kaappi | 38 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | Mr. Tokmanni | 35 | 0.0133 |
| #3 | Sauli Hyvämies | 26 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | gnoomi | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | Kortsu | 4 | 0.0079 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sauli Hyvämies | 513 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | Mr. Tokmanni | 470 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #3 | Ikea Kaappi | 208 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | gnoomi | 131 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | Kortsu | 49 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Table sorcerer | +2.58 | 71 | 55 |
| #2 | Mr. Tokmanni | +2.31 | 73 | 47 |
| #3 | Ikea Kaappi | +0.12 | 57 | 45 |
| #4 | Sauli Hyvämies | -1.17 | 29 | 41 |
| #5 | gnoomi | -3.39 | 30 | 31 |





